Hey, It seems that as life goes on, everyday throws a curve ball at you and life is testing to see if u can dodge them. Just when you think that life is on track, you turn to smile at what you left behind you get hit smack between the eyes with what seems to be the biggest ball you've come across. It's called reality. Right when you least expect it, everything turns around and you end up flat on your face, in the dirt. In my case, it wasn't dirt I landed in, it was a bed full of sorrow. My life wasn't perfect but it was on the way towards it. I had a big performance for choir coming up, my family was pretty good, Ashlee and Sam were here and to top it off, I liked this gorgeous guy. I finally tell him that I like him and insteed of telling him face to face as the only time I had a chance to tell him face to face was when my little sister was around and, although she's cool and all, there's certain things I don't want her hearing. I told him via MSN and it was ok but, I think it would have been better if I had have done it face to face. I have lots of nerves in me as I'm going to Sydney next week to sing. I'm in the school choir and we are going to Sydney for a concert we and over a houndred more students are performing. I think it is going to be a great experience considering the fact that I love to sing and hey if things turn out weird then I might get a career in singing. Stewart knew exactly how I felt about singing. It was something that I love with a passion and he was always encouraging me to grasp my so called tallent go further with it. I join a choir becasue it was the closest thing to what Stewart was telling me to do. I'm a fourteen year old girl who thougt she had everything worked out. I was going to join the army, get a degree in Computer Science then go into a career of Computer science. Now, now things have changed. I love to sing. I don't know what I love any more. I thought I loved Stewart but, obviously I don't. I fell for my best friend and ontop of that, he's bisexual. Sure, tehre's nothing wrong with that. So he likes both guys and girls. Things could be more interesting that way. LOL. But he's looking for someone weird. I always thought I was weird but obviously I'm not his sort of weird. I said to him what would happen if something was to happen between us and he said that, nothing would happen becasue it would cause too much pain. He said that if I had have tried last year that things would have been fine but, now things are too painful and to put the cherry on the cake, He think's I'm like his cousin. He considers me like family. GREAT.

There's a great quote from the movie Abandon that states, "Screw this play, screw this place and screw you people." In my terms it would be, "Screw this life, screw this place and screw you people." Things are screwed up and hey that's my curve ball.

I'm going to go to Sydney as planed, I'm going to attempt to get over the fact that Stewart doesn't like me like that and I'll attempt to move on. I'm still, only fourteen as it is. I have my whole life to scew things up. My life may seem to be screwed up to me at the moment but I continue to reasure myself that things can only move in which dirrection I make them move.

Sometimes when all hope is lost,
I turn for you and hold you tight.
Sometimes when my heart is broken,
I hug you and wait for you to tell me it's alright.

You were my bestfriend,
i loved you with all my heart.
I could really talk to you,
I never thought there would be a day we would part.

Boy was I wrong,
it now seems there's more I need to learn.
We might be moving and if we do,
You and I will have to write in turn.

I will miss you more and more,
I will shed a tear for you the day we depart.
As I get on that plane,
and head for a new start.
I'll be looking back on all the photos and good times we had,
I'll keep one by my side.
With your photo with me all the time,
I will no longer need to hide.

It's only going to be 3 years,
I'll be back soon enough.
But within those years there's one thing I need to say,
Without you my life would have been so tough.
You picked me up and cleaned my saws,
You taught me so much.
You helped me cry, laugh and,
You soothed me with every friendly touch.

You lit up my world just with a smile.
I won't be gone for long,
I'll be back in a while.

Until I return,
keep in touch.
Keep an eye on the guys for me,
and keep in mind I miss you so much.

*dedicated to my bestfriend, Melinda Duncan and all the other guys in my life that I have to leave behind I'll be back soon enough*

Today at school we were talking about careers and uni and stuff like that! I was asking alot of questions and as My teacher was in the reserves I asked a lot of army! Now I think I know what I want to be! I want to be a mob driver or a Utility Vehicle driver! I love trucks I think they're the best thing since... I don't know when! I love to see them in action! You'd have about 285 horse power sitting under you, running on 6 cylinders, Suspension, Hydrolics and OMG they would be amazing to run! I just adore looking under the hood of them and can't wait to see wat new upgrades are brought out for these amazing machines! The newest upgrade of the vehicle is opperated by the driver but he/she doesn't have to stand at the truck anymore they now have controls on a lead! These are contolled by 2 cables which are strong enough to, together, can pull a bogged mob out and if that isn't enough power on the cables then they also have special pullies that apply more power to pull more weight! They are so supper cool!

Quiz
1. What is your occupation?
Student

2. What color is your underwear?
Green! I think no Macka has assured me that they is aqua

3. What are you listening to right now?
Sum 41: chuck

4. What was the last thing you ate?
Golf ball (chocolate truffel)

5. Do you wish on stars?
I wish I did, nah, sumtimes

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Black

7. How is the weather right now?
Dark and full of stars!

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Best person in the world!!! ME!! nah, Macka

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yeah

10. How old are you today?
13

11. Favorite drink?
Orange and Mango Juice with a hint of apple juice

12. Favorite sport to watch?
I don't really have one

13. Have you ever dyed your hair?
No

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
neither

15. pets?
I have 2 cats, a bird, a fish and Macka

16.favourite month?
August.

17. Favorite food?
Fresh Gnochi

18. What was the last movie you watched?
Princess diaries 2!

19. Favorite day of the year?
24th August

20. What do you do to prevent anger?
I hit a brick wall or... My brother

21. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My books

22. Fall or Spring?
Spring

23. Hugs or kisses?
Depends if they're from Macka! If from Macka than Hugs

24. Cherry or Blueberry?
Neither

25. Do you want your friends to post this?
That would be nice.

26. Who is most likely to post this?
Linx_389

27. Who is least likely to respond?
Mindy! lady_werewolf

28. Living arrangements?
At home. with the parents and sum times mackas house

29. When was the last time you cried?
Sunday week ago

30. What is on the floor of your closet?
Cadets Bags and Posters covered in dirty/clean clothes

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
 Macka

32. What did you do last night?
Sat on the floor doing my assignment!

33. Favorite smell?
Brayden's deoderant

34. What inspires you?
Lead Singer in Sum 41 and my hero

35. What are you afraid of?
Macka with a paintbrush in her hand or make-up,or any other weapon also, losing my family including, Macka, Mindy, Linx, Billy, Chris, Ryan, Brayden! Esspecially Brayden, Ryan and Macka

36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Cheese are the best but I like a bit of spice 

37. Favorite car?
I love a black skyline with green neons but I also love the trucks we use in teh army! 6 Cylinders, 285 horse power, Hydrolics, Suspension and Turbo! Hell yeah

38. Favorite dog breed?
Macka and Bitzas! We all need a bit of love including us wogs and ities! Ha mindy

39. Number of keys on your key ring?
2

40. How many years at your current job?
I don't have a job.

41. Favorite day of the week?
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays! I also like Modays as I get to see Brayden!

42. How many states have you lived in?
2

43. How many cities have you lived in?
4

As Chris has been begging me to update my livejournal so as he has something to do I think I might actually do it! So there you go chris something to read!

I went away with the army cadets over the holidays for a week! We wnt to singleton and had a ball! I went hiking and learnt a hell of a lot of new skills! I made new friends as well. I met this guy named Lincoln davis or Davis as we all called him! He live sin dubbo so I can't exactly go and see him but I'm writing to him alot and he's writing to me too! He's 13 and has glasses. He andI got along really well. one night, While we were ment to be sleeping, I ran into a tree out side his houtchie and knocked myself out. I didn't do that once but twice! we got caught for frat and reported! We didn't exactly get into trouble but we did get told off! I find it funny because Ashlee was fratting with Corey and they got caught but not reported! Oh well! I ahd so much fun over camp! Alot of people came down sick and one of my friends, karmen's Boy friend, bj put himself into a sugar overdosed coma! It was really funny but Karmen was freaking out!
After we finished camp, the last day we all went back into our own units and met up with the rest of the people and our friends! I said goodbye to davis and was greated by Michael with a huge bear hug! Always somethign I enjoy getting from Michael! That day was extremely weird! I kept getting hugs from michael and now he is like more friendly around me and talks more! On the bus ride home I used michaels shoulder as a pillow and he had his arm around my shoulder! It was one of the most comfortable positions but we eventually got into a hell of a lot of trouble form one of the corporals! Oshea! We didn't really care, ok yeah, he moved his arm but I still used his arm as a pillow!

Yesterday I did a crazy thing! I called michael at about 11:30am and confessed everything! I put our whole friendship on the line and didn't want to lose his friendship! He was cool about it and he is still talking to me! Amazingly enough even last night at cadets he sat next to me and spoke to me most of teh night! So I don't think it was as crazy as I think! next step is to ask him out!

Also last night at cadets we got to look under the hood of an amzing army toe truck! It was great! It had 6 cylinders, 285 horse power, hydrolics and suspension! It was great! It also had the utility 4wd and trailer on the back of it's trailer! It was great! In another compartment of this truck they had D-bolts and Levers and devises like that! McMahon had one of the D-bolts and was using it as a weight and Amos came up like right behind him and bent over his shoulder and copped a D-bolt in teh side of the face like right near his mouth! He had a fat lip but no bleeding! Boy wa sit funny! I also foundout that we need new recruits or we are getting down graded again! we don't want that to happen!

Well great to be back!